You see it all too often these days, in the supermarket, walking down the street, even at Starbucks. The undisciplined child who is throwing a tantrum, or is talking back in some unknown language, that sounds like something you would rather strangle than hug.
And herein lies that major issue: Children are not the problem, they are the result of the problem. What I mean is, that parents these days, are largely to blame for the child’s misgivings and wrong doings.
And we all know, that this, could never be “Our” child who just had a nuclear meltdown because, “No, we cannot get a kinder egg today.” So what do you do? How are you supposed to handle a child when they are not listening to you, when all seems lost in their little Worlds?
Well, honestly, in order for you to be a parent that your child will listen to, you have to gain your child’s respect. I have been lucky. I started working with my Little girl very early on. And although there is a Vast difference in the parenting style between my Ex and myself. It only takes a few words, a few actions to see a drastic adjustment when I pick her up.
Here’s what you need to know: if you do this for a week, you might just be amazed.
1. You child is watching you. If you freak out and lose your cool with someone else, guess what? Their little world rocks back and forth. And they will eventually adopt your “Style of coping.” Is that such a good thing?
2. Children respond to being talked to. “No they don’t, I am certain that I just saw the kid’s head on the bouncy castle turn all the freaking way around” – You’re thinking. Ah, but they do. But first you have to get their attention. When you’re in chaos and your kids been buzzing for the last hour on Pixie Stick Juice, you need to calm them down. Here’s what I do with my 4-year-old: I get her attention by looking her in the eye’s, I get on her level or pick her up to mine, I tell her to breathe, look me in the eyes and listen. And if I have to, say “You don’t act that way with daddy.” And she listens…
3. It’s a matter of conditioning. If your child won’t listen, continue to respond in the same way. Over a period of a few days you will see a huge difference.
5. Offer consequences and stick with them: timeout’s or the threats of timeout’s is usually enough to get my daughter to listen up. This is a last resort, really. I hardly have to use this because I talk with my daughter. On her level.
6. I think the most important thing in responding to your child though, is patience. Children are sensitive, and in a moment you can crush their feelings. Be patient, listen to their wants’ and needs. When you talk with your child they let you into their world.
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